There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays there is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
high pressure on kids and younger to be successful in their professional lives, especially in academic subjects. Concerning that, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that schools should teach only traditional issues
such
Linking Words
as maths, science, and languages,
instead
Linking Words
of other skills like music, sports, or cookery. In
this
Linking Words
way, it is argued that the students must concentrate only on academic work to get better scores. I totally disagree because all matters are important for the full development of children and teenagers. The academic curriculum should be balanced with non-academic subjects, aiming to provide a holistic background, mental health, and several skills useful for an adult life. Removing issues like physical education, cookery, or music, can release more time on the timetable to the traditional subjects, but,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, can limit the range of abilities.
Besides
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
strategy can put a lot of pressure on young
people
Use synonyms
and can be very harmful to kids' evolution. I think that education should be wide and provide as many types of knowledge as possible. Each person has particular talents and schools should help each one discover their potential and capacity.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
are exceptionally good in sports, others in arts, and others in biology. It is not fair to limit talents
offering
Change preposition
to offering
show examples
only basic issues.
For example
Linking Words
, there are a lot of successful
people
Use synonyms
in arts, sports, and music. The academic way is not the only path to a happy life and success.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that educational institutions should include in the syllabus, several areas of knowledge to form better professionals and citizens in all fields.
Submitted by fmulato on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
For a higher score in Task Achievement, aim to provide more specific examples from your own experience or observed scenarios. These should illustrate your arguments and provide concrete evidence to support your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, work on linking your ideas more fluidly between paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
In enhancing your argument, consider exploring counterarguments to your view, even if to debunk them. This can demonstrate critical thinking and a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to varied sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: