some people believe that it is good to share much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic wirld.Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Some people believe that new railway lines should be built for trains with high speed between cities.Others argue that the budget should be spent on maintaining and progressing public transportation.Despite the fact that improving public
transport
is more important ,I feel that some new
railways
can have more benefits.
This
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss both attitudes in the following. The government should upgrade existing public
transport
.
This
method requires less money to improve ,
therefore
it is more reasonable and
also
more
economic
Replace the word
economical
show examples
.Better public
transport
needs a few times and can affect society as soon as possible.The community
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
used to using the existing
transport
, which they do not need to adopt with the new one.
For example
, they know how they should buy tickets or where are the stations in the urban areas ,
thus
they prefer to move by them. New public transportation
such
as fast trains should be utilized by the population.The
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
indicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
show examples
that the expense of maintaining
this
kind of is the least.The
railways
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
should be installed once time and
then
work for more than 20 years.
Moreover
, they have no
harm hazard
Replace the word
harmful or harmful
show examples
effects on the environment.
For instance
,
railways
made of steel can be recycled easily.
In addition
, they do not have air pollution.The statistics demonstrate that
although
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
have been no accidents since 10 years ago,they are so fast and passengers can
reach
Verb problem
get
show examples
from one place to another place very rapidly.They are able to go at 150 km per hour compared with other transports, which can not go over 120 km per hour.
To conclude
, the government can construct new
railways
or improve existing public
transport
.Tome, establishing a new one
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
more efficient.
Submitted by Imatinfar99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Task Response: Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, but your position is not very clear. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and provide balanced arguments for both points of view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay lacks clear transitions between ideas. Make sure to use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and improve the flow of your essay. Additionally, consider restructuring your introduction and conclusion to create a stronger framework for your essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: