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Band 4.5

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #students #study #group
In recent years, the argument of whether
students
 should
study
 in groups or individually has drawn wide attention in the education sphere.
While
 some believe that individual
study
 is the most appropriate approach for academic learners, I believe that working with teammates has more
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 impacts on
students
. Advocates of self-learners believe that independent
study
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 that more unnecessary time can be saved, and more energy
are
Wrong verb form
can be
show examples
 concentrated on the
study
 project itself. If there were
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 teamwork
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
,
students
 would be more likely to spend more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improving their individual scores rather than going through the motions in teamwork presentations.
For instance
, it is common for poor
students
get
Add the particle
to get
show examples
 average high scores in collaboration
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, as the efforts everyone paid are not equal.
On the other hand
, the reason for people who believe teamwork
study
 is more effective may involve the recognition that independent
students
 who
study
 alone are not good at social skills.
By contrast
, those who have cooperated with others have known thoughts from different perspectives. They tend to be more responsible and patient which are the important factors in coping with other people in their future career life,
as well as
 giving them more confidence in social networking skills.
Taken
Wrong verb form
Taking
show examples
 the leaders in
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 group
for example
, they are responsible
to guide
Change preposition
for guiding
show examples
 the whole group
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 in harmony,
this
 precious experience has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their profession selection.
To sum up
, despite the benefits of individual
study
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
 concentration and self-improving skills, I believe that
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
 working method has more positive impacts on both
students
’ academic and professional
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
.
Submitted by tessiet412 on

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task response
- You need to fully address the prompt, ensuring that both views are thoroughly discussed. Also, make sure to clearly express your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
- The essay lacks a clear organizational structure. Work on developing a more cohesive and logical flow of ideas. Moreover, ensure that your ideas are connected with appropriate transition words and phrases.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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