Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cell #phone #security #cameras #cases #development

Due to technological advancement, monitoring system appears to be very common nowadays, ranging from

cell

phone

tracking to

security

cameras. Some people raise the privacy concern that we are always being monitored without knowing it. While there are some drawbacks to using monitoring

systems

, I believe that the pros of using these

systems

outweigh the cons. The major criticism of these

security

systems

is that they invade others’ privacy.

This

is because our movements are being tracked all the time. Not only do they make some people feel uncomfortable, but

also

they harm personal freedom. It will

also

be uneasy and even insecure for

cell

phone

tracking.

For example

, my friend once told me that she sometimes felt distressed as her whole family know her activities with

cell

phone

tracking apps that all of them agree to install for

security

However

, it seems that monitoring system brings more benefit to different groups of people.

First

, the number of crimes

such

as stealing can be reduced with CCTV in stores and shopping malls.

Second

, it would be useful to get evidence from

security

cameras in schools and

cell

phone

tracking apps if children are in danger.

This

also

applies to the elderly with dementia as

cell

phone

tracking allows families to find their loved ones easier in case of disconnection. To conclude,

although

monitoring

systems

have several problems, it is still believed that the advantages created outweigh the disadvantages if the

systems

are used in the proper ways.

Submitted by cindywanhl on Fri Nov 25 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Surveillance
2. Monitoring
3. Cell phone tracking
4. Security cameras
5. Public safety
6. Law enforcement
7. Privacy concerns
8. Personal freedom
9. Autonomous
10. Breach of trust
11. Misuse of information
12. Institutional integrity
13. Psychological impact
14. Mental well-being
15. Societal trust
16. Paranoia
17. Transparency
18. Stringent regulations
19. Criminal deterrence
20. Apprehension of criminals

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Influence of human beings on the worlds ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. Causes and solutions

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as Music and Painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?