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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

#future #people #shops #cash #payments #card #phone
In the future, it is possible that
cash
 may become obsolete for in-store purchases, with all transactions being conducted via cards or mobile devices. in my opinion, it will happen soon for
this
 solution . I will explain the reason in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, the trend towards a cashless society is already evident in many parts of the world. Digital
payments
 offer several advantages,
such
 as convenience, speed, and security. With the rise of contactless
payments
 and mobile wallets, consumers can make purchases quickly without the need to carry physical currency.
Additionally
, digital transactions can be easily tracked and monitored, reducing the risk of theft and fraud. Many businesses
also
 prefer digital
payments
 as they streamline the accounting process and reduce the costs associated with handling
cash
. Despite these benefits, some people might not be happy to give up using
cash
. One reason is the issue of privacy.
Cash
 transactions are anonymous,
while
 digital
payments
 leave a trail of data that can be tracked and analyzed. Individuals who value their privacy may be uncomfortable with the idea of their spending habits being monitored.
Furthermore
,
cash
 is widely accepted and does not rely on technology or an internet connection, making it a reliable option in various situations. In conclusion,
while
 the shift towards a cashless society seems likely given the current trends in technology and consumer behaviour, it is important to consider the potential drawbacks. The loss of privacy, accessibility issues, and the needs of certain populations must be addressed to ensure that the move away from
cash
 is inclusive and equitable. Balancing the benefits of digital
payments
 with the concerns of those who prefer
cash
 will be crucial in
this
 transition.
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task achievement
Consider adding more detailed and specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific countries or companies where a cashless society is already prominent.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use more transitional phrases to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You clearly addressed both parts of the prompt: the possibility of a cashless society and why some people may not be happy about it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless society
  • digital payment systems
  • financial institutions
  • transparency
  • illegal activities
  • privacy reasons
  • digital trace
  • technologically challenged
  • cybersecurity threats
  • technical failures
  • cultural attachments
  • resistant to change
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