Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as Music and Painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, the authorities are paying more in the field of
arts
such
as Music and Painting. However
, public services such
as good education
, health care, and public transportation are neglected by them. I completely agree with the statement that,
the government should take adequate actions for the upliftment of public services than the Remove the comma
apply
arts
and the reasons for my argument shall be stated in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, public works such
as quality education
, transportation, and medical care are worse in developing nations, but the arts
programs, music concerts, and painting exhibitions are catered to by the higher authority. To clarify, the Government is willing to spend on musical shows and maintenance of painting museums which are not a need by the common man. In addition
, authorities are forced to fund the construction of giant sculptures and monuments which assists in vanishing the nation's income! For instance
, there are a plethora of sculptures in India, though
they are throwing light on the culture of the country they are unnecessary expenses to an extent!
Correct word choice
and though
Furthermore
, the facility for basic education
, ride
and health care must be boosted Fix the agreement mistake
rides
according to
the need
of the common people. It is possible to live without art Fix the agreement mistake
needs
however
, it is hard to meet the ends if there is poverty and struggle. public drives such
as metro rails and free medical check-ups should be provided for the well-being of society. Moreover
, make primary education
compulsory for every child in each nation.
In conclusion, I reiterate that the Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on the arts
. Albeit, musicians and painting artists are significant for a balanced society. Hence
, it is hopeful that the authorities will take necessary steps for the conservation of not only arts
but also
public infrastructure in the days to come.Submitted by ammuj93 on
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task achievement
Consider providing more varied examples, possibly including global perspectives, to strengthen the argument and make the essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points in the essay fully support the thesis statement to avoid any confusion about your main argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively presents a clear introduction with a concise thesis statement, outlining the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion successfully reiterates the main argument and suggests hopes for future actions, providing a balanced end to the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task question thoroughly, discussing both the importance of public services and the role of arts.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized paragraphs with cohesive sequencing, allowing for smooth reading and understanding of arguments.