Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Imprisonment is a more efficacious way of fighting certain types of crimes than education and training. In cases where criminals can pose a critical danger to society
such
as child molestation or mass shooting, imprisoning them can play a crucial role in deterring their malicious intent and preventing them from harming others.
While
rehabilitation programs can be effective in reducing recidivism rates, they are not always viable options for those who may suffer from chronic mental illnesses.
For example
, some research suggests that criminals suffering from impulse control disorder, a type of condition that makes it difficult to control their actions, can impose violence as an automatic response to problems despite taking psychological therapy in prison.
Consequently
, contrary to the arguments for education and training programs, I believe that incarceration should be the most appropriate course of action given the threats posed by serious crimes.
Submitted by banhbao0565 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, but the introduction could be more comprehensive. Including a clear thesis statement would strengthen the argument.
task achievement
While the essay covers relevant examples and ideas, providing additional details or statistics could further support the claims made.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, making it easy for readers to understand the writer's perspective.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant specific examples, which helps to illustrate the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is well-maintained, with each point flowing smoothly into the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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