IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Without capital punishment (the death penalty), our lives are less secure, and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #control #society
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It is said that returning
violence
 with
violence
 will multiply it. Many people,
however
, believe that without capital
punishment
crimes
 would increase, and they wouldn’t have
safety
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. It is
also
 argued that
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
 is vital for curbing the
crime
 rates in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. In my opinion,
nonetheless
,
this
 is a controversial issue, and as there can be various other ways to rein the
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
rate
 of
crimes
 and
violence
,
instead
 of capital
punishment
, I tend to disagree with it.
To begin
 with, from my perspective, it is
inhuman
Correct your spelling
inhumane
show examples
 to implement capital
punishment
 in a civilized
society
.
Nevertheless
, many consider offenders as worthless worms in a righteous
society
 that must be eliminated to enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safety
, and the offenders are not given a
second
 chance to prove they are capable of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
change. According to the results of a recently done research, countries that implement
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
 have a higher
rate
 of
crimes
 and
violence
 compared with the countries with less severe methods of
punishment
. Another point to consider is the power of education and
prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
show examples
 of
crimes
. It is stated that if juvenile criminals are educated properly and if the government tackles the pressing economic issues immediately,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
 would be curbed. As an example, Norway is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country with the lowest
rate
 of
crime
 and
violence
. In
this
 country,
although
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
 is abolished, the government has provided proper
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and has given the citizens economic freedom.
Moreover
, another vital factor in
this
 country’s success in combating
crime
 is addressing the pressing issues to the point, which has brought
immense
Add an article
an immense
show examples
 amount of
safety
 and security
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. In conclusion, from my perspective,
although
 many argue that
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
 will control the
crime
 and
violence
rate
, and it should be implemented to maintain
safety
 and security in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
, other efficient ways can be used to control
crime
such
 as educating and
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
 to curb the
crime
rate
.
Submitted by salehi81 on

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