It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Taking
risks
may be important for people
, but not on both sides of their lives It is not good for people
to take risks
in their professional and personal lives. They might endangering
both sides of their Change the verb form
endanger
be endangering
life
.
Taking risks
can be beneficial for people
in their professional lives. Doing some big work that is
possible in some areas could have some good results after doing that. For example
, an employee accepts responsibility for doing a big project in the company where she or he works, and after being successful in this
project can get a promotion or salary increase; however
, If not people
may have a huge problem which is endangering the entire company, getting fired or paying a large fine.
On the other hand
, taking risks
in personal life
is a big decision and should think more about that. Personal life
includes all members of a family, and if not going to be successful and do not have good results can have bad impacts on all members of a family. For example
, buying a house which is not expensive is a good idea but if this
house has some document problems can involve everyone in a family and take them peacefully.
In conclusion, Taking risks
not only is dangerous but also
could damage the other parts of life
and the position that people
have.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
You have addressed the task questions, providing examples for both personal and professional life contexts. However, consider exploring the contrast further to show how the benefits might sometimes outweigh the risks or vice versa to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph discusses a single main idea, and link ideas through clear transitions. This will enhance the overall flow and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Review sentence structures and grammar to avoid minor errors like subject-verb agreement and improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant real-world examples, like job promotions and buying a house, that help illustrate your points well.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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