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Writing Samples
Band 5

celebrities responsible to speak about the major issues of countries .are you agree or disagree?

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Famous
people
Use synonyms
 have always been
a
Correct article usage
apply
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significant
contributor
Fix the agreement mistake
contributors
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 to
social
Correct article usage
the social
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 awareness
of
Change preposition
in
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 their countries. In my opinion,
celebrities
Use synonyms
 could guide others in choosing a better path and at the same time, wrong guidance from them could lead to catastrophic results for them and their followers
Firstly
Linking Words
,
celebrities
Use synonyms
 with
tribune
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tribunes
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 and fans could be the
voice
Use synonyms
 of their nation in the world
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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For instance
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 of my country
dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
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 with many human right issues and their
voice
Use synonyms
 is not strong enough to be heard by world leaders in which with the help of
celebrities
Use synonyms
, their
voice
Use synonyms
 could be amplified and heard around the world
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Celebrities
Change noun form
Celebrities'
Celebrity's
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 good deeds could reciprocate with many of their followers and spread within their communities.
For example
Linking Words
, during the Covid-19 pandemic, many
celebrities
Use synonyms
 aided
people
Use synonyms
 in need who were in trouble due to the lockdown to pass their day-to-day expenses
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Famous
Add a missing verb
being Famous
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 can influence folks to make the wrong decision. Namely, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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election times, they could promote and represent an individual
that is
Linking Words
 more beneficial for them and wrongly influence
Use synonyms
people’s
Change noun form
people
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. Alternatively, the illusion of fame and power could lead to an unhealthy lifestyle
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which many might follow and end up as a trend for
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 and negatively affect communities In conclusion and based on the facts above, I am unsure whether the involvement of
celebrities
Use synonyms
 in
social-political
Add an article
the social-political
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matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
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 is beneficial for
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 or not. I strongly believe that the most important qualification
celebrities
Use synonyms
 need in order to be known as the
voice
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 is to be
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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, kind and above all,
putting
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
 the public interest over personal gain

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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