As a result of electronic inventions such as computer and television, people do less physical activities and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

To agree or disagree with the remark that electronic invention is having a negative effect on health
due to
less physical activity is an important issue. Putting the discussion in a wider context, exercise is necessary for well-being has always been debatable. Even though some folk think that fitness concern is only for the older community , I wholeheartedly believe that health should be on top priority for all ages. First I will discuss some arguments supporting my ideas about the given statement, after which some aspects against that will be presented. On the one hand, many people agree with
aforementionedaformnetioned
Correct word choice
the aforementioned
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proclamation for many noteworthy reasons. The most remarkable is the lack of playgrounds in urban areas.
For instance
, the increase in population in recent decades erased all the playgrounds from the nearby localities.
Therefore
, the population got more inclined to the electronic devices for spending their time. Another key reason is the trend in which everyone is indulged in the virtual world and lacks time for real friends.
For example
, advanced computer games attract the public more than real-world friends and games.
Finally
,
degrading
Replace the word
it degrades
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physical and mental health.
On the other hand
, other communities disagree with
this
statement for many reasons. The most important is that using these devices help human connect with other individuals across the globe and open many doors of opportunity .As an example, various videos from across the globe give ideas to remote area folk to do better in their life.
Accordingly
, to get all available internet knowledge public has to spend extra time on screens.One more reason to disagree with the word is that a young body needs no physical activity as the metabolism is good at a younger age.The best example eating the right food keeps folk slim without
workout
Correct your spelling
working
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.
Consequently
, these devices are giving an ocean of opportunity and everyone getting addicted to it. All in all, when all the specific reasons and relevant examples are considered and evaluated, I strongly agree with the idea of supporting the already stated words because its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.
Submitted by manishkj007 on

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task response
Provide a clear position and stick to it throughout the essay. Ensure that each body paragraph relates directly to the given statement and presents arguments that support your position.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall organization of the essay by using clear topic sentences and linking words to connect ideas. Also, make sure all examples and reasons support the main points effectively.
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