Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children’s who are taught to co operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

#people #sense #competition #children #children’s #co #adults

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people believe that

children

Use synonyms

should face

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

while

others

Use synonyms

argue that cooperation is a better way for

children

Use synonyms

to become successful and beneficial adults.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that

children

Use synonyms

concerned with competition can be more successful in future.  In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I am going to discuss both views and draw my own conclusion.

First

Linking Words

of all, competition is a must in today’s society. Without

rivalry

Add a comma

,rivalry

show examples

people cannot improve yourselves and become better than before. Competition motivates them in life, in the working environment and

also

Linking Words

in education.

Children

Use synonyms

need to be taught to compete with

others

Use synonyms

to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

in terms of grades and virtue because when they grow up and start to work, competing is crucial in leading a good life and

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

successful.

For example

Linking Words

, if a person wants to create

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

his own

her own

show examples

company, that company must be able to compete with

others

Use synonyms

to survive and continue to grow.

However

Linking Words

, cooperation is

also

Linking Words

a beneficial attribute, which should be taught to

children

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because it makes the person more inclusive and open to

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

a helping hand to

others

Use synonyms

. It helps an individual rise above all barriers and

unite

Change the verb form

unites

show examples

with

others

Use synonyms

to promote mutual well-being.

For example

Linking Words

, a child who is

co-operative

Correct your spelling

cooperative

show examples

will help his friends with homework and exam preparations, rather than being selfish to achieve the highest grade himself or herself and denying to help

others

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, being

co-operative

Correct your spelling

cooperative

show examples

helps one to become a better individual, by sharing everyone’s joys and sorrows and helping people to rise up when they face obstacles. To sum up, even though it is highly recommended that

children

Use synonyms

should be taught to be competitive and always be pushing for their goals, teamwork and co-operation should not be ignored and are

also

Linking Words

a high demand needed for future success.

Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on Mon Nov 28 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Compared to previous generations, an increasing number of people are traveling overseas for holidays. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Many people claim that travelling abroad is pleasurable gratification which can provide a sense of personal growth and cultural enrichment.As a consequent tendency of people to take trips overseas is reinforced tremendously.I will support this view with arguments in the following paragraphs.
4
band
Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that congestion. While it is a commonly held belief that crowded, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider privately owned vehicles because privately owned vehicles are crucial in any country but they can solve the problem of congestion in cities such do traffic management and In my opinion the
7.5
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are different views regarding the government's focus on transportation improvement. While there is a strong pro-opinion on investing in the construction of bullet trains and railway lines that connect cities, others support the idea of upgrading current public transport infrastructures and services more. Personally, I agree with the first idea because speedy trains would help the country achieve more than just transportation excellence.
5
band
In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernize, old buildings are demolished and replaces with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old building? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In this present world, the necessity of building more residents occurs as population and the need of more residence increase. The need of developing modern buildings forces the old ones to be demolished and reconstructed instead of building it in empty spaces, due to having not enough space in myriad cities. It is agreed that pros of modernising a city outweigh the cons of it. Analysing the advantages of a modern city would prove this statement.
7.5
band
Government should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
One of the most challenging issues in today's world is the increasing elderly population which seems to bring up several consequences for the governments. Some say the heads of state are not responsible for providing special care for this group of society, on the grounds that each individual should take care of themselves when they start to get old. I completely disagree with this viewpoint, and in this essay, I am going to elaborate on my reasons.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children’s who are taught to co operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Your opinion

Compared to previous generations, an increasing number of people are traveling overseas for holidays. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernize, old buildings are demolished and replaces with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old building? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Government should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.