Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

Nowadays
sports
channels are gaining much more attention from the public. Some
people
have argued that violent
sports
like boxing and martial arts should be banned from airing on TV channels.
This
essay will highlight both the benefits and the drawbacks of
such
sports
.
To begin
with, physical activities
such
as martial arts and boxing are essential skills for self-defence.
People
can learn how to protect themselves when they are facing attacks and assaults by strangers. These skills are particularly beneficial to women when they travel alone in the middle of the night.
In addition
, most
people
consider watching these
sports
as a source of entertainment and a chance to spend quality time with their family and friends.
Furthermore
, most martial arts have their own historical values.
For example
, Kung Fu is a Chinese martial art
that is
passed down from their ancestors.
On the other hand
, these
sports
involving violence do
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
some negative impacts on society. As children are constantly exposed to violent actions, they may think that these actions are normal.
As a result
, children tend to learn and imitate these behaviours, and without proper guidance and training, they may accidentally harm
people
.
This
may
also
contribute to an increase in youngsters committing crimes.
Moreover
, sportsmen who participate in these violent competitions always end up with bad injuries. These scenes are always unbearable to watch, especially by their loved ones. In conclusion, in my opinion, I believe that the benefits of these
sports
far outweigh the drawbacks.
However
,
people
should receive proper training in order to avoid accidents from happening.
Submitted by khaishien.hong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be further developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. Ensure that all main points are supported with relevant examples and explanations to enhance the completeness of the response.
task achievement
The response addresses the task adequately by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of violent sports like boxing and martial arts. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and expanding on the potential impact of these sports on society.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!