Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competition

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Nowadays

sports

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channels are gaining much more attention from the public. Some

people

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have argued that violent

sports

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like boxing and martial arts should be banned from airing on TV channels.

This

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essay will highlight both the benefits and the drawbacks of

such

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sports

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To begin

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with, physical activities

such

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as martial arts and boxing are essential skills for self-defence.

People

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can learn how to protect themselves when they are facing attacks and assaults by strangers. These skills are particularly beneficial to women when they travel alone in the middle of the night.

In addition

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, most

people

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consider watching these

sports

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as a source of entertainment and a chance to spend quality time with their family and friends.

Furthermore

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, most martial arts have their own historical values.

For example

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, Kung Fu is a Chinese martial art

that is

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passed down from their ancestors.

On the other hand

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, these

sports

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involving violence do

bring

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have

show examples

some negative impacts on society. As children are constantly exposed to violent actions, they may think that these actions are normal.

As a result

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, children tend to learn and imitate these behaviours, and without proper guidance and training, they may accidentally harm

people

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This

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may

also

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contribute to an increase in youngsters committing crimes.

Moreover

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, sportsmen who participate in these violent competitions always end up with bad injuries. These scenes are always unbearable to watch, especially by their loved ones. In conclusion, in my opinion, I believe that the benefits of these

sports

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far outweigh the drawbacks.

However

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people

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should receive proper training in order to avoid accidents from happening.

Submitted by khaishien.hong on Mon Nov 28 2022

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be further developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. Ensure that all main points are supported with relevant examples and explanations to enhance the completeness of the response.

task achievement

The response addresses the task adequately by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of violent sports like boxing and martial arts. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and expanding on the potential impact of these sports on society.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Violent sports
Boxing
Martial arts
International sports competition
Cultural tradition
Economic impact
Revenue
Freedom of viewership
Safety regulations
Desensitization
Negative role modeling
Physical benefits
Discipline
Self-defense
Fitness
Permissible violence
Media influence

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Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

Your opinion

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Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?