IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people enjoy their free time activities which are dangerous (such as mountain-climbing, bungee jumping) What is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Boredom has been associated with humans since the dawn of time;
therefore
Linking Words
, we try to get rid of it, and for some , the ultimate method is by experiencing
activities
Use synonyms
 conventionally regarded as dangerous. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 is a completely positive idea
due to
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 the pleasure and acquisition of skills
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 which it can offer. As stated in the beginning, humans' nature is to find something fun and enjoyable, so what can be more fun than the feeling of escaping death when being involved in thrilling
activities
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? Many individuals today feel trapped in the monotony of modern
life
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 — working long hours, facing daily routines, and dealing with mental stress. Engaging in dangerous
activities
Use synonyms
such
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 as mountain climbing or bungee jumping offers an escape, not just physically but emotionally. These
activities
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 create a strong adrenaline rush, which makes people feel alive,
energized
Use the right word
energised
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, and emotionally refreshed.
Furthermore
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, participating in
such
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 extreme
activities
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 often requires mental and physical preparation.
For example
Linking Words
, mountain climbing improves endurance, planning, and problem-solving skills,
while
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 bungee jumping helps people overcome fear and build mental resilience. These experiences teach individuals how to manage risk, control their emotions under pressure, and develop confidence — all of which are useful in daily
life
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. In
this
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 way, these
activities
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 go beyond just entertainment; they contribute to personal development and growth. On a social level, the rise in popularity of these
activities
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 has
also
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 helped build communities of like-minded adventurers, encouraging support, teamwork, and cultural exchange. People travel across countries to climb famous peaks or try new extreme sports, leading to richer
life
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 experiences and a broader worldview. In conclusion,
while
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 these
activities
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 are not without risks, the psychological satisfaction, physical benefits, and
life
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 skills they offer far outweigh the dangers — provided that they are done with proper safety measures and awareness.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
this
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 trend is a positive development in today's fast-paced, often overwhelming world.

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task plan
Plan your writing before you start. State your view first, then add why and what you think, with small steps.
coherence
Make each paragraph link to the one before and after. Use simple linking words and keep ideas in one flow.
content
Give more real life examples or details to show the ideas work in life, not only on the page.
grammar
Check your sentences to be short and clear. Use common words and easy grammar.
task response
The writer has a clear view and gives it in a straight way.
coherence
The essay flows well from idea to idea across paragraphs.
conclusion
The ending wraps up with a clear hope for safety and balance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • free time
  • risk
  • danger
  • climb
  • mountain
  • climbing
  • bungee
  • thrill
  • excitement
  • fear
  • skill
  • training
  • safety
  • gear
  • guide
  • club
  • friend
  • media
  • trend
  • reason
  • benefit
  • health
  • stress
  • escape
  • focus
  • planning
  • weather
  • injury
  • cost
  • time
  • money
  • rules
  • plan
  • check
  • limit
  • safe
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