IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many small business are being forced to close because they are unable compete with multinational corporation? what problems does this cause and how can problems be solved?

#business #corporation
There is no doubt that
companies
 are able to market their products all around the world due to globalisation. It is believed that the emergence of multinational
companies
 has forced many small businesses to close.
This
 essay will explore the major problems available and the solutions to resolve these issues.
To begin
 with, organisations are able to sell their products throughout the world using air, sea and land transport.
This
 results in
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
show examples
 of multiple small local
companies
, which leads to a decrease in job opportunities.
In addition
, local
companies
 usually produce goods that have cultural and historical values. With
closure
Add an article
the closure
show examples
 of local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
, there is a
dissappearance
Correct your spelling
disappearance
 of the cultures and traditions of a country.
Moreover
, the increase in multinational fast-food restaurants
such
 as
McDonalds
Change noun form
Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
show examples
 has
Correct your spelling
a negative
anegative
Correct article usage
an anegative
show examples
 impact on the health of the public as well. In order to solve these problems, local sellers can try to boost their sales by engaging
online
Change preposition
in online
show examples
 marketing. Nowadays people can access information easily with the Internet.
Hence
, online advertisements spread quickly, thereby increasing the sales of products. On top of that, the government can help by providing funds to local
companies
. The government can
also
 assist in promoting
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
 of small
companies
 through the use of social media and radio.
Lastly
, businessmen can
also
 enrol in sales and marketing classes to learn more about skills that can increase profit. In conclusion,
although
 there is a rise in business competition due to multinational
companies
, I believe that the government and businessmen can take several measures to solve
this
 problem.
Submitted by khaishien.hong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: