IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is immense ‎pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing ‎pollution. Discuss both views, and give your opinion

#people #cars #cities #‎pollution #waste #industries #ones
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It is evident that in order to gain development, an increase in population in cities can enhance the availability of vehicles and
manufactory
Replace the word
manufacturing
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 leading to
pollution
Use synonyms
 and
waste
Use synonyms
 disposal. The majority of the citizens think these are
due to
Linking Words
 cars in cities,
while
Linking Words
 others assume the linkage between
pollution
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 and
industries
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, both vehicle emissions and industrial
waste
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pollution
Use synonyms
 contribute equally to the polluted environment. On the one hand, the increasing number of
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
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 in cities is undoubtedly a major cause of desecration. Cars emit significant amounts of carbon dioxide, nitrogen oxides, and particulate matter, which contribute to poor air quality, global warming, and respiratory diseases.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the growing demand for vehicles exacerbates the production of non-biodegradable
excess
Change the noun form
excesses
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,
such
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 as
tyres
Change the spelling
tyres
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 and batteries, leading to land
pollution
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. Traffic congestion, particularly in densely populated urban areas,
also
Linking Words
 results in higher emissions
due to
Linking Words
 idling engines.
Consequently
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, many argue that curbing vehicular use through public transportation and electric vehicle adoption is essential for reducing
pollution
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.
On the other hand
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,
industries
Use synonyms
 are often regarded as the primary culprits of
pollution
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. Industrial facilities emit large volumes of greenhouse gases and discharge toxic chemicals into water bodies, affecting ecosystems and human health. Factories
also
Linking Words
 produce solid
waste
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 and release pollutants into the air, contributing to smog and climate change. Heavy
industries
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,
such
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 as steel production and chemical manufacturing, are particularly notorious for their environmental impact. Proponents of
this
Linking Words
 view suggest stricter regulations and cleaner technologies to mitigate industrial
pollution
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. In my opinion, both cars and
industries
Use synonyms
 play significant roles in
pollution
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.
However
Linking Words
,
industries
Use synonyms
 have a broader and more profound environmental impact
due to
Linking Words
 their large-scale emissions and
waste
Use synonyms
 generation.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, tackling both sources is crucial, as only a combined effort can lead to sustainable environmental improvement.
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relevant specific examples
Enhance your use of specific examples and evidence to support your claims about vehicle emissions and industrial waste. Try to include data or research findings to strengthen your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Maintain the sophisticated level of vocabulary and ensure complex sentence structures are used throughout the essay.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a strong conclusion summarizing your opinion.
complete response
You have successfully presented a balanced discussion of both views on the topic, along with your own opinion, highlighting a complete response to the task.
introduction conclusion present
The transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth, aiding the reader's understanding of the flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban congestion
  • air quality
  • emission standards
  • greenhouse gases
  • carbon footprint
  • toxic emissions
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • clean technology
  • public health concerns
  • mitigation strategies
  • noise pollution
  • renewable energy
  • electric vehicles
  • industrial waste
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