Young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has a negative effect on young people and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Nowadays,
this
Linking Words
is
trend
Add an article
a trend
the trend
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
their leisure
time
Use synonyms
in shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
and markets rather than playing sports and outdoor activities.
This
Linking Words
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
negative effects not only
younger
Change preposition
on younger
show examples
people
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
society
Change preposition
on society
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
with
this
Linking Words
point of view and I will give you
explanation
Add an article
an explanation
show examples
in
ensuing
Correct article usage
the ensuing
show examples
paragraphs. To being with, there are several
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects
show examples
on young
people
Use synonyms
who spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopping.
Firstly
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
waste their quality
time
Use synonyms
and money.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
shopping mall
display
Add a comma
,display
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
items to
people
Use synonyms
easily manipulate.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they present very well to
people
Use synonyms
attrect
Correct your spelling
attract
and purchase things.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Correct your spelling
these days
thesedays
Correct your spelling
these days
outdoor activities
such
Linking Words
as volleyball, cricket and other social activities trend
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been decreased because youngsters their most of
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
give in shopping in
these
Change the determiner
this nagetive effect
these nagetive effects
show examples
nagetive
Correct your spelling
negative
effect not only
younger
Change preposition
on younger
show examples
people
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
society
Change preposition
on society
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the years of twenties of to thirties period is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
golden
years
Change the noun form
year
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life , in these years
people
Use synonyms
have to chance
achieving
Change the verb form
to achieve
show examples
their goals. They focused on your studies.
Hence
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
younger
people
Use synonyms
spend their
time
Use synonyms
in shopping malls and spending their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
money.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
survey of
time
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
India that 70% of younger
people
Use synonyms
spend their
time
Use synonyms
in malls and
thay
Correct your spelling
they
shopping
unwanted
Change preposition
for unwanted
show examples
things.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail outlets
  • consumerism
  • advertising
  • local businesses
  • neighborhood communities
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • socialize
  • amenities
  • economic growth
  • cultural homogenization
  • ecological footprint
  • entertainment
  • trends
  • brand loyalty
  • spending habits
  • mall culture
  • local shops
  • health implications
  • job opportunities
  • tourism
  • consumer debt
  • environmental impact
  • energy consumption
  • waste generation
What to do next:
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