Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugarly products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

high levels of

sugar

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are contained in many manufactured

food

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and drink

products

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This

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contributes to a lot of

health

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problems

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. I partly agree that these things ought to be more expensive to protect

people

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from serious diseases.

To begin

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with, making sugary

food

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and drinks higher prices lead to extending many individuals' lives. Nowadays, many

people

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regardless of whether younger or older generations tend to get sick

such

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as diabetes compared to the pre-modern world.

For example

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, from a Japanese point of view,

sugar

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was one of the most precious things there.

Therefore

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although

Linking Words

they could not purchase it, they did not have

such

Linking Words

a disease.

On the contrary

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, many individuals have metabolic syndrome nowadays.

In other words

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, many of them easily get into

health

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trouble.

Thus

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, by highering prices, it is likely going to reduce these cases.

On the other hand

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, making expensive

products

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have some drawbacks.

Firstly

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, it may torture

people

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who are in financial

problems

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Although

Linking Words

taking too much

sugar

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is harmful to them, taking an appropriate amount of

sugar

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contributes to

people

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health

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. In

this

Linking Words

case, highering prices mean forcing them not to buy even a little amount of it.

Hence

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, it may lead to some

health

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problems

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Secondly

Linking Words

sugar

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is contained in most manufactured

food

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and drink

products

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

means if they changed the price of it, most

food

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and drink

products

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would be expensive.

Therefore

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this

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will raise the living costs and may occur different complications

such

Linking Words

as financial ones. In conclusion, raising the price of

sugar

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certainly have a benefit related to

health

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problems

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Nevertheless

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this

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may lead to some disadvantages in terms of financial dilemmas.

k41tanaka

Nov 29, 2022

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugarly products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Homework is part of a high school student’s life. Some people think that students get too much homework nowadays. Why do you think students get more homework now than before, and what are the possible results of this?

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. What are the advantages for a company having a uniform? Are there any benefits of having a uniform for the staff?

Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibilty while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has been said that people who read for pleasure have more developed imaginations and better language skills than people who prefer to watch TV. Do you agree or disagree?