IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In recent decades, the growing dependence on private
cars
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 has become a pressing issue in many urban areas.
While
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cars
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 offer convenience and flexibility, their excessive use contributes to several social and environmental problems.
This
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 essay will discuss some of the major challenges associated with
this
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 trend, including traffic
congestion
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 and environmental pollution, before proposing improved public transportation as a potential solution. One significant issue caused by the overuse of private
cars
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 is traffic
congestion
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. As more individuals opt for personal vehicles, roads become increasingly crowded, leading to longer commuting times.
This
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 not only affects individual productivity but
also
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 places strain on infrastructure, requiring continuous road expansion projects that may not be sustainable in the long term. Another major concern is environmental pollution. The burning of fossil fuels in
cars
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 releases harmful emissions
such
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 as carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxides, which contribute to global warming and poor air quality. In cities with high car usage, smog and respiratory diseases have become common health concerns, negatively impacting public well-being. One effective way to address these problems is to enhance public transportation systems. Governments should invest in efficient, reliable, and affordable transport networks,
such
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 as buses, trains, and subways. If public transport is made more accessible and attractive, people may be encouraged to switch from private
cars
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 to more sustainable alternatives.
Additionally
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, policies
such
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 as
congestion
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 charges and carpool incentives can
further
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 discourage excessive car usage. In conclusion, the overreliance on private vehicles leads to serious problems, including traffic
congestion
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 and environmental damage.
However
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, improving public transport systems can offer a viable solution by reducing the need for personal car ownership. If governments and individuals take proactive steps, it is possible to create a more sustainable and efficient transportation network for future generations.

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is fully developed. While the ideas are mostly clear, some points could be elaborated further.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve flow. This can help clarify relationships between different points and strengthen cohesion in your writing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument and covers important issues related to over-reliance on cars using relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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