Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

sports
Fix capitalization
Sports
show examples
are vital to the
overall
Linking Words
growth and development of any child. A few people argue that group sports are more favourable than individual activities in order to mould them for corporate life. I strongly support the statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
essay, I will elaborate on the same and discuss both views. On one hand, group
games
Use synonyms
can develop certain qualities in children which are crucial for a job culture
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
teamwork, coordination among members, and planning. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, during a football match, the
team
Use synonyms
plans on the positioning and the roles of each player, and the
team
Use synonyms
can only succeed if there is good coordination among the
team
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it clearly shows that a kid playing a
team
Use synonyms
sport will learn and practice all these elements.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, for individual
games
Use synonyms
, winning and losing in a game will depend on the effort put in by a single person.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
individual activities help a child to be competitive and understand the significance of hard work.
For Example
Linking Words
, in order to succeed in a running race, runners put in a lot of hard work by practising day and night
trying
Punctuation problem
, trying
show examples
to be faster than the previous day.
Hence
Linking Words
, students who develop these traits will focus on competing with their peers and in some cases, they may not get along well with their colleagues.
To conclude
Linking Words
, youngsters grasp different types of qualities from both individual
games
Use synonyms
and
team
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
team
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
are
preferably
Rephrase
apply
show examples
beneficial to youngsters to prepare them for a job.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates back to your argument. This will help your essay feel more organized.
Task Achievement
Try to add a bit more detail and examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, state your opinion more clearly. This sets a clear direction for the reader from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is great for coherence!
Task Achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well, showing balance in your response.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: