IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #development #sport #art #school #students #support #sports #events
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Due to globalisation ,
Correct your spelling
governments
government
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the goverment
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goverment
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government
tend
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tends
show examples
 to fund
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professional
proffessional
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professional
sports
Use synonyms
 and
arts
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 events in various ways.I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 direction,they need to encourage the development of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 and art for
school
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 students . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will highlight why
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 prominent with examples. In the beginning,children in any society
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 future,by default supporting schools
into
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in
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 developing their physical and
creativity
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creative
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 skills is very important.
For instance
Linking Words
,when you fund a child in
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elementary
elementery
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elementary
school
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 whom you find is talented in any kind of
sports
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 or
arts
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 ,will help gain
accumelated
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accumulated
 talents that could change the country's future in the long-term,like what happened in China in the late 60s ,they supported students with all tools they need.
As a
Linking Words
result
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,result
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 we can all see the golden medals Chinese competitors
colloected
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collected
 in
2020
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the 2020
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 Olympics .
Furthermore
Linking Words
,raising funds
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at in
show examples
in
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an
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 early age will save a lot of money and wasted energy for
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governments
goverments
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governments
 in the near future.
For example
Linking Words
, when you already built a capable contest whether in
sports
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 or
arts
Use synonyms
 ,supporting him
/
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her
later on
Add the comma(s)
, later on,
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 will not cost like when you support him in
early
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the early
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 stages,and
also
Linking Words
 he
/
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she will give you better results when he
/
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she is well based in childhood.
In Addition
Linking Words
,representing your nation in international events will be an
add
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added
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 value for
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governments
government
goverments
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governments
 when their
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contestant
contestent
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contestant
 is well supported since
school
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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and will give him the motive to compete in the name of his
/
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her country. In a nutshell,I agree that
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governments
government
goverments
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governments
 should support
school
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 students
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age
instead
Linking Words
 of burdening themselves and the
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taxpayers
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tax payers
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taxpayers
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on
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by
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 spending only on useless
arts
Use synonyms
 and
sports
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
occasions
occasssions
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occasions
, like Worldcup ,
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
 and other art events.
Submitted by mazenabujabal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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