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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of fitness are decreasing what do you think are causes of these problem and solutions?

#countries #weight #people #level #fitness
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Nowadays, there is
great
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a great
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 discussion about whether many countries' average body
weight
 is rising and their level of fitness is falling. Many
people
 there is nothing wrong with
this
 action but
in
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apply
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this
Add a comma
,this
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mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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 portion of the population
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
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otherwise
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will discuss the cause and solution of
people
 increasing
weight
 and
also
 discuss the following paragraph. On the one hand, there are many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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 associated with
weight
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the weight
show examples
of
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apply
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rising and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 fitness
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreasing. In fact, the most
effect
Replace the word
effective
show examples
to
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on
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 health is the
food
 that they have.
For example
,
people
 significantly eat out with
food
 from deep oil as junk
food
 is the best choice of
food
 that many
people
 are obsessed with.
Moreover
, another cause of
people
 becoming fat is because of sitting and working. There are various humans who have a career in the office or at the moment, we are working from home due to covid-19.
However
, that was
the
Correct article usage
an
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 impact
to
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on
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people
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
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not
Add the particle
tonot
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exercise
Wrong verb form
exercised
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 or
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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work out so, the thing is
have
Change the verb form
to have
having
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 a problem with
legs
Correct pronoun usage
their legs
show examples
 and have
a
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apply
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fat in
belly
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the belly
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.
On the other hand
, there are a lot of solutions
about
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to
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people
 increasing and their level of fitness decreasing. The main thing is man’s consumption of too much
food
. As a reason, the
food
 that you have you need to select to eat because of
food
 from the previous
for example
, change
food
 to more healthy because it will assist you to have a good body and be strong. Moving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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further
of
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apply
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solving the way that you need to work out as much as you can due
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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exercise is fundamental to wellness and makes you have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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muscle and
relaxed
Wrong verb form
relax
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. In conclusion, as I represent with my argument
that
Correct word choice
apply
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of effect and solution there
are have
Change the verb form
has
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Add an article
a way
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to both
improvement
Change to a plural noun
improvements
show examples
such
 as
effect
Add an article
the effect
show examples
 of
people
Change noun form
people's
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weight
 was increasing impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 the way that
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
eat
Change the form of the verb
eating
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
.
Although
, one of the methods to reduce
this
 situation is for
people
 to return to health and exercise.
Submitted by daroromylove on

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