In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some

people

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argue that governments have problems because of an ageing

population

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while

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others believe that more elderly

people

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give

benefits

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to society. In

this

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essay, I will explain why the

benefits

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of having an ageing

population

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overshadow the potential drawbacks. On the one hand, the existence of an old-age

population

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could pose two challenges to governments.

Firstly

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, if

people

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live longer, they may need to be supported financially by the government. When they have retired and cannot save their income at a productive age, they will struggle to fulfil their daily necessities in their retirement. Their family may support their needs, but elderly

people

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usually do not want to inconvenience their family members.

Secondly

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, if they experience age-related illness, it will impact the health systems. To illustrate, as they get older, most of them suffer complications.

Consequently

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, the treatment cost will be even higher. Because of

this

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, they take up resources needed by other

people

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in society.

On the other hand

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, I would argue that having an old-age

population

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offers more

benefits

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to governments.

First,

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they are an asset to the economy. Because of their experience and the excellent competencies that they have, they are frequently asked about their considerations to overcome problems and minimize potential loss.

Furthermore

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, they

also

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become the leaders or catalysts for achieving targets in teams of younger age. Another important point is that they are an asset for the society. After retirement, they are productive by helping working parents to babysit, spending money as consumers, and even doing charitable work. In conclusion,

while

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having an ageing

population

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might cause the government to give financial support and cope with health systems, they show valuable economic and societal contributions.

Therefore

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, on balance, I remain firmly convinced that the drawbacks are eclipsed by the

benefits

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alfinkarimah008Sun Jun 16 2024

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task achievement

While the essay presents a balanced argument, ensure all points are equally well-developed. The challenges related to the health system could use more specific examples or data.

coherence cohesion

To enhance clarity, use signposting words more effectively to connect ideas within paragraphs. This will help in guiding the reader through your arguments smoothly.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear summary of the main points discussed.

task achievement

The essay makes a solid attempt to address both sides of the issue, offering a comprehensive response to the prompt.

task achievement

The use of relevant examples, such as the financial struggle of retirees and their contributions post-retirement, strengthens the arguments.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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