IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Sport Should Be Compulsory In School. To What Extent Do You Agree Or Disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since the beginning of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern education, there have been several dilemmas about the context of subjects. There is much debate over
Use synonyms
sports
Correct word choice
whether sports
show examples
 should be obligatory in
school
Use synonyms
 or not. Even though doing
sports
Use synonyms
 can be dangerous for
students
Use synonyms
,ı strongly believe that integrating
sports
Use synonyms
 at a certain level into
students
Use synonyms
' lives can help them to live
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy life. Some parents consider doing
sports
Use synonyms
 dangerous for their children as some
sports
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as basketball and football may cause serious injuries.
Hence
Linking Words
,
sports
Use synonyms
 must be done in front of a supervisor for
school
Use synonyms
-age children. Unfortunately, schools don't have enough capacity to fulfil teachers for every student.
For example
Linking Words
, mounting evidence concerning
this
Linking Words
 issue suggests that the most of accidents occurring in the
school
Use synonyms
 originate from
unconscious
Correct article usage
the unconscious
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 doing
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some parents consider
sports
Use synonyms
 shouldn't be compulsory in the
school
Use synonyms
's curriculum
On the other hand
Linking Words
, according to a great number of researchers, starting
Use synonyms
sport
Add an article
the sport
show examples
 at
school
Use synonyms
-age avoid having some disease
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes or health problems in the elderly ages.
Thus
Linking Words
, if
Use synonyms
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 can achieve that
involving
Change preposition
by involving
show examples
 the
sport
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 children's life even little , it would prevent living in unwanted conditions.
In addition
Linking Words
, as far as thousands of doctors are concerned, people who are between 11 to 21 years old ought to do
sport
Use synonyms
 for the development of
bodies
Correct pronoun usage
their bodies
show examples
 physically and have a nice condition for their hearts. In conclusion, nowadays whether the
sport
Use synonyms
 should be compulsory in
school
Use synonyms
 or not remains a controversial issue,
however
Linking Words
, I completely agree with the statement that having a
Use synonyms
sport
Change the verb form
sporting
show examples
 habit in
students
Use synonyms
' lives helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 live a healthy life, despite that sometimes
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 could cause injuring the
students
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: