IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some say thatr advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#say #thatr #people #attention
Advertisements
 have become
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 tool to announce
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
products.
People
 have different views about whether advertising forces the customer to get a certain
product
 or
it
Correct word choice
whether it
show examples
 has been an old tool that can attract our attention. On the one hand, advertising can force
people
 unconsciously to buy items
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
 two ways commonly used by manufacturers.
Firstly
, repetition, which means presenting a
product
 many times to consumers can make them decide that the
product
 is essential and purchase it.
For example
, banners of a
product
 along roads and video
advertisements
 on YouTube
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stream every time you open a video.
Secondly
, using
people
 who claim that they got the
product
 and was beneficial to them
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes us convinced
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
product
.
On the other hand
, with the advances
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology,
people
 have become able to recognize what is essential for them. They already know that advertisers use their way to make a
product
 in its best shape and
characters
Fix the agreement mistake
character
show examples
. Not only that,
people
 themselves may have a previous unsuccessful experience in purchasing items through
advertisements
.
Consequently
, to get a
product
,
people
 will not easily be convinced
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a simple advertisement. I would partially agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the idea that advertisers can play games on our brains to make us buy a
product
, but I believe that we have the choice to get it or not. In conclusion, it is beyond the scope of imagination that one would decide that
advertisements
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best way for selling objects.
Submitted by drahmedibrahim91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • capture attention
  • emotional engagement
  • targeting techniques
  • tailor ads
  • preferences
  • celebrity endorsements
  • influencer marketing
  • psychological tactics
  • scarcity
  • urgency
  • ad fatigue
  • effectiveness
  • coping mechanisms
  • ad blockers
  • saturated markets
  • innovative strategies
  • traditional methods
  • digital media
What to do next:
Look at other essays: