The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
In
this
fast-paced world, people need more free time
from their workplace. It is believed by some people that working hours should be shorter as well as
employees should have a longer weekend. If questioned, I firmly bolster with
Change preposition
apply
this
notion. My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs.
There are a plethora of reasons why I opine that labourers should have a longer weekend. The most pivotal one is that the relationship between family members may ameliorate. To support this
, I can be explained
that if they work only 4 days a week, they will plan a small trip with their family. Wrong verb form
explain
Also
, they can spend their precious time
with their children. It has a positive impact on their relationship bond.
Furthermore
, another striking reason is that they can more focus on their hobbies, dreams and physical activities, such
as playing some sports. By this
, I mean that individuals can spend enough time
on other activities when they have enough free days in a week. It is not only beneficial for their physical health but also
productive for their mental well-being.
On the contrary
, some other people counter and argue in the favour. To begin
with, they may be suffering from some diseases, such
as obesity. This
is due to
the fact that some workers like to sit at home in their leisure time
and they do not engage in any exercise as a result
a sedentary lifestyle is increasing in their life.
Thus
, to conclude
the discussion, according to
the aforementioned points, it can be finally
commented that despite the health of employees may deteriorate, my arguments justify that it is fruitful for their family and hobbies, are logically acceptable.Submitted by pramodv997 on
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task response advice
To enhance the task response, try incorporating more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. This will demonstrate your ability to fully engage with the topic.
coherence and cohesion advice
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear logical progression by connecting each paragraph's ideas cohesively. Consider employing linking words and phrases more effectively.
coherence and cohesion advice
Work on expanding your ideas further to make them clearer and more comprehensive. Adding more depth to your points will strengthen your argument.
introduction highlight
The introduction effectively sets the context for the essay and clearly states your stance.
conclusion highlight
You have a well-structured conclusion that succinctly summarises your points and reiterates your argument.
language highlight
You use a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures, which contributes to the essay's coherence and readability.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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