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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, people are having children at later age in life. What are the reasons? Do the advantage outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #people #children #age #life #advantage
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Nowadays, there is a great discussion about whether some countries have
children
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 when they get older. Many
people
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 believe there is nothing wrong with
this
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 action, but there is a significant portion of the population who think
otherwise
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.
This
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 essay will argue why I believe the advantages
about
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of
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people
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 having
children
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 at later age outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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 in the following paragraph.
Firstly
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, there are many advantages to having
children
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 at a later age.
To begin
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 with, the most important family is ready to care for the
children
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. Some parents think kids should be born when everything is enough for them
such
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 as money, education and love. Another, the
further
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 have a child when the elder
have
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has
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 wealth
such
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 as
house
Correct article usage
a house
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 and cars.
This
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 is because the family prepared everything for the
children
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. In fact, to make them happy and enjoy being with their parents.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 can argue that there are various negative effects
for
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on
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 kids, probably
of
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on
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 health.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 is,
old
Correct word choice
because old
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 parents have a child's
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 damages of life
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for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, they
possible
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possibly
show examples
 occur a disease or obtain a fever
easily
Correct quantifier usage
more easily
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 than other
people
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.
However
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, another argument is
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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about
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of
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 social life. How to
children
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 able to be normal
in
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apply
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
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due to
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apply
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sometimes environment it was different for them, because
of
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apply
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 have
the others point
Change to a genitive case
the other's point
the others' point
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 of view,
society
Change noun form
society's
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 community important for a child in the future to
Change the verb form
have
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be have
Correct your spelling
behave
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a friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
friends
a friend
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,
co-worker
Fix the agreement mistake
co-workers
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 and
couple
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couples
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. In conclusion, as I illustrated with my arguments above, I believe that everything does not have a limited scope to make it possible to make as needed.
This
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 is not to compare advantages or disadvantages but to decide by yourself.
Submitted by daroromylove on

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