IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have recently seen an advertisement in a local newspaper for a part-time job at a pharmacy. Write a letter to the hiring manager to apply for the position. In your letter: Introduce yourself and explain why you are writing. Describe your qualifications and experience relevant to the job. Request further details about the job and the application process.

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Dear Manager, Hope you are doing well.
This
Linking Words
 is Lovepreet Kaur, a student of GNM. The purpose of writing is to express my interest in a part-time position in a pharmacy, as advertised in the newspaper. As a resident of Brampton, I would like to contribute to the local business. In my opinion, my skills will perfectly match the requirements. I have a relevant experience in customer service. I used to work at a pharmacy in Shoppers Drugmart for about one year. I used to help customers with medications.
This
Linking Words
 experience equipped me with relevant experience, confidence and communication skills. In order to gain more information about the position and the application process, I would appreciate it if you could provide me with the details regarding the specific responsibilities, work schedule and any other necessary training or qualifications. Thank you for considering my application. I am available for an interview at your earliest convenience. Hope, to hear from you soon. Kind regards Lovepreet

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task achievement
Consider including a brief connection between your skills and the specific duties of the pharmacy job to strengthen your application.
coherence and cohesion
Try to rephrase the introduction to make it more engaging, perhaps by adding a sentence about your passion for healthcare or helping others.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to clearly separate your paragraphs for better readability and to help maintain focus on a single idea per paragraph.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your intent and provides basic information about yourself, which is essential for a letter of application.
task achievement
Your previous experience at Shoppers Drugmart is relevant and adds credibility to your application, showcasing your familiarity with customer service in a pharmacy setting.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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