IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Even through experts believe that walking is a great way to improve one's health, very few people walk nowadays. Why are not people walking? What can be done to encourage them to walk more?

There are many ways to ameliorate
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 and professional
people
Use synonyms
 presume that walking is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way for
this
Linking Words
. But a small number of
people
Use synonyms
 walk. There are lots of reasons
which
Correct word choice
why
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do not walk
such
Linking Words
 as using
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
show examples
, online shopping and incorrect strategies for
weigh
Correct your spelling
weight
show examples
 loss.
This
Linking Words
 essay describes reasons and some solutions to persuade
people
Use synonyms
 to walk more.
Firstly
Linking Words
, mechanical life causes
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
 automobile and public transportation for commuting and everybody prefer to
use
Use synonyms
 them
instead
Linking Words
 of walking.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, with the development of technology,
people
Use synonyms
inclined
Add a missing verb
are inclined
show examples
 to buy online shopping and pay bills by mobile phone apps.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past ,
people
Use synonyms
 had to go
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 bank
for paying
Change preposition
to pay
show examples
 bills and withdraw money
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason everyone often
walk
Wrong verb form
walked
show examples
 to the nearest bank.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 walked to buy
everythings
Correct your spelling
everything
 in
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 days but today everybody especially
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
show examples
 generation
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
 to buy
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online shopping and they do not walk. In addition, as far as I have seen a lot of advertisements
which is
Verb problem
that
show examples
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
incorrect strategies about
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 body.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many companies which claim that
with consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
 their products
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to lose
people
Use synonyms
's weight without walking and doing exercise. As a result,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to
use
Use synonyms
 their products
instead
Linking Words
 of walking. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of some views,
people
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to follow the correct ways to maintain their
health
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, increasing fossil fuel may be
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
 which
people
Use synonyms
walk
Fix the infinitive
to walk
show examples
 and
use
Use synonyms
 less their vehicles. They may walk to go bus station or subway station,
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result, they may walk to their destinations.
Secondly
Linking Words
, banks and online shopping can put restrictions on their websites and mobile apps
which
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can not pay for
everythings
Correct your spelling
everything
.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to go there and buy.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, experts should inform
people
Use synonyms
 about the side effects of consuming products which help to lose weight and improve
health
Use synonyms
 and they can explain the benefits of walking. In conclusion, as I mentioned earlier, mechanical life and using technology
such
Linking Words
 as online shopping and mobile applications cause
people
Use synonyms
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 not walk.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are encouraged to walk more
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
some ways including increasing fossil fuel, putting restrictions on online shopping and informing
people
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
about
show examples
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of walking.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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