IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #hunger #food #aid
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Plenty of
people
 think that knowledge is the key factor for
help
Replace the word
helping
show examples
 fight
Correct your spelling
hunger
show examples
huger
Correct your spelling
hunger
show examples
, whereas others believe that the answer
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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food
aid
. I think the answer is in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education, because thanks to schools, colleges and universities all
people
 leave school with any information about something subject for
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. On the one hand, a great number of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 think
these knowledge
Change the determiner
this knowledge
show examples
 can help for
the
Remove the article
apply
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your future, will
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
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define your future profession and
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 will not remain without
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Graduates may work after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
colleges and universities and can buy
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 and other things.
For instance
, a large number of African countries haven’t knowledge because they haven’t a budget for schools for African residents. There are rich family can allow
to study
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studying
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.
On the other hand
,
other’s
Fix the agreement mistake
others’
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 opinion is not that, and they think thanks to
food
aid
 they may get a lot of opportunities,
for example
, physical activity, when
people
 get energy from
food
 and they can
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 for them.
However
, human think that because
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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children and
people
 who have sickness can’t
working
Change the verb form
work
be working
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 and provides
by
Change preposition
for
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 themselves.
To
Change preposition
For
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illustration
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illustrate
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, in Africa where
people
 are dying of hunger because there is no
food
 and no job prospects. For
this
 reason,
food
aid
 is vital to help these
people
 and
then
 to ensure that education and training can be beneficial. In conclusion, I agree with
first
Add an article
the first
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 text, but it is true that African
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 help with
food
aid
, because they can die without
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 and in paid
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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