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Band 6.5

Although family is a powerful influence on child's life, it is also influenced from outside the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#influence #child #life #home
The phenomenon of
children
 being affected by external factors has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as people's views on the issue in question may be, I totally agree with the idea that young people are easier get influenced outside environment. Of all the reasons why
children
 are influenced from outside, probably the most significant one is that
children
 spend one-
third
 of their time studying and playing with other pupils at school every day. They hang out with peers most of the time
besides
 their parents. So, they are easily affected by other students since they are at a susceptible age.
For instance
, some students say the new mobile phone is fantastic,
then
 other students will believe it without actually trying the new phone. They tend to believe what their peers said without suspecting in turn gaining their peer's recognition. Another reason that should not be overlooked is that we are living in a world with too much advertising. They will show on your TV, mobile phone, public transportation, etc... Advertisements can easily input a thought into
children
's minds.
For example
, many advertisements aimed at young people, keep conveying some advantages of their product into the reader's mind.
As a result
, those
children
 who read the advertising may get influenced, and persuade their parents to buy those products. Under
this
 link of thinking, it seems to me that the affection of outside factors is much more serious than their parents.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • norms
  • emotional support
  • peer groups
  • social development
  • identity formation
  • intellectual growth
  • value system
  • perceptions
  • worldview
  • cultural assimilation
  • societal expectations
  • extracurricular activities
  • self-esteem
  • negative influences
  • well-rounded
  • external factors
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