IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You borrowed an item from your friend. While it was in your possession, it got damaged. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Thank your friend for lending the item to you. Explain how it got damaged. Tell your friend what you plan to do about it.

Dear Jenny, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to express my sincere apologies for the unfortunate accident involving your bicycle that occurred
while
Linking Words
 I was using it.
Firstly
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, I am incredibly grateful to you for lending me your bike. It was very helpful to me, especially when my car was undergoing maintenance.
Secondly
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, let me tell you about the accident.
Last
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 night, when I was on the way to my home, I ran over a tree because I was trying to avoid a big rock on the road. Luckily, I was not injured but the front wheel of the bike was bent
due to
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 the collision.
However
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, it is not difficult to fix the problem. My husband, who is a skilful mechanic, has agreed to assist me in addressing the issue. He is planning to purchase a new wheel
this
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 morning and together, I am sure that the wheel can be replaced properly. Given his experience in similar matters, I am confident that the repair can be carried out effectively. Please accept my apologies for the damage. Once again, thank you for letting me use your bicycle. Best wishes, Lana

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the reason for the letter is immediately clear in your opening paragraph to strengthen the task response. Mentioning the bicycle and the unfortunate incident upfront can make your purpose more direct.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, consider linking ideas more explicitly between paragraphs. Phrases like 'Following this,' or 'Considering the situation,' can make transitions smoother and connect the sections of your letter more fluidly.
Task Achievement
For an even better response, reflect briefly on how the experience may affect your future behavior or what lesson you learned from the incident. This can add depth to your explanation and apology, enhancing the task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the greeting and closing, incorporating a more personalized touch based on your relationship with the recipient could add warmth. For example, 'Dear Jenny, hoping this letter finds you in the best of spirits,' or a closing sentiment reflecting a shared memory or inside joke.
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