IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
Nowadays,
gender
 equality is the most
debating
Replace the word
debated
show examples
 topic in every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
 including education.
Firstly
,
this
 essay will discuss what is the negative and positive sides of
this
 equality and
secondly
, how much l
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
agree with
this
. On the one hand, the best
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of
gender
 equality
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 both females and males have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 rights in all causes
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
about
Change preposition
as
show examples
 getting
education
Add an article
an education
the education
show examples
 and
Correct your spelling
achieving
achiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
 their dreams.
For example
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
asian
Change the capitalization
Asian
show examples
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 only men could study or work out of home approximately 50 or 100 years ago.
However
, today, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
Add an article
the women
show examples
 can both work and get
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
 where they want and it is the main cause of
Correct article usage
the develope
show examples
develope
Correct your spelling
development
 of
asian
Change the capitalization
Asian
show examples
Correct your spelling
countries
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
.
on the other hand
, humans have different
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on their
gender
. Involving all people in the same subject will cause
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of interest and
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
.
For instance
, in the fashion classes
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of girls is more than boys.
Likeways
Correct your spelling
Bikeways
, in the
Correct your spelling
engineering
enginering
Correct your spelling
engineering
 subjects amount of males is over the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of females. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I firmly believe that expanding the university horizon with both females and males is a good step.
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
Nevertheles
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
gender
 diversity in class is depend on
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 interests.
Submitted by fatimeheyderova21 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: