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Band 3.5

most schools offer some type of physical education classes to their students why is physical education important? Should physical education be required or optional?

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Nowadays most schools offer physical
education
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classes
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, to their students. Why is physical
education
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 important? Should physical
education
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classes
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 be required or optional
.
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?
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First
Linking Words
 of all, physical
education
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 not only improves our ability to think better and quickly but
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps
to
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us to
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 be
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healthy
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 in
mental
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mentally
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 and
physical
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physically
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.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 physical
education
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classes
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 teach children the importance of staying fit as well.
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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Further more
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Furthermore
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, studying
this
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 class is the
first
Linking Words
 step to being
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successful
succesful
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successful
 in any
sports
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sport
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.
For example
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, when I was in high school, I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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played volleyball. I think that
this
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 influenced me
being
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to be
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 capable
to
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of
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 doing something in
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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moreover
Linking Words
 to lead others. On the
on
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one
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 hand, physical
education
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 helps to maintain a
Correct your spelling
healthy
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 lifestyle throughout life. It is beneficial for students to keep their
body
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bodies
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 strong and healthy.
Besides
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, it requires more effort and time during study time. Especially on changing their clothes and shoes before
go
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going
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 into
to
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apply
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the
sport
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sports
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 hall. What's more, after doing some exercise and playing, you will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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sweat, so
that
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apply
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you should change it again. In conclusion, physical
education
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classes
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 must be required in whatever school it is or university. It seems to me that
this
Linking Words
 section is good for our physical and mental health. Even though you're bad at sports, you should do some exercise at least twice
in
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apply
show examples
a week.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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