IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfacory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try to improve such situations. Give your opinion.

#people #situation #unsatisfacory #job #shortage #money #situations
scientists say that the majority of
people
 who got occupied in a
job
 show no satisfaction;
therefore
, they do not acquire a higher position. Many humans proposed that the bad situation should be accepted by the
employees
, while others suggest that the
employees
 should seek a
job
 that fulfils their needs. In my opinion, it is better for the population to work in a field they like rather than working in a workforce they do not adore.
This
 opinion is followed by some reasons that will be discussed in
this
 essay.
Job
 satisfaction plays a vital role in achieving goals and success. Working in a field that
employees
 like will give them the opportunity to work efficiently and creatively.
For instance
, the owner of KFC did many ventures in his career, but all of them ended up a failure. After he reached 60 years old, he found that he likes cooking and started to invent recipes and spices that resulted in one of the most successful fast-food restaurants in the world;
moreover
, he became one of the richest
people
 in the world. Accepting a bad situation will not only affect the performance and reputation of the
employees
 in their workforce but
also
 will affect their social life.
For example
, it can affect the way they adapt and behave with their family and friends;
furthermore
, change some aspects of their personality in a negative way, which could damage their practical life. In conclusion,
People
 should implement
job
 satisfaction not only in their workforce but
also
 in their practical life because
this
 will make them more successful than the
people
 who will accept bad situations in their fields.
Submitted by amr475745 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: