IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

At the present time, the popualtion of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #popualtion #countries #adults #people #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, younger generations are the backbone of society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some countries believe that young stars are the tarchbarriers to society despite the old generation. In
this
Linking Words
 essay , I will express my viewpoints, on why the young generation is more important than the old. On the one hand, there are some benefits for elder adults. In terms of working fields, older people have had to be more experienced and better at doing some supervised duties.
In addition
Linking Words
 , they have less tendency to make changes. So, we will be witnessed a significant sustained system. In the case of family, the older parents have more leisure time than the younger ones.
Hence
Linking Words
, entertainment and group gathering are highly probable and their families would have more leisure activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a number of advantages for the young population. These can investigate in terms of proficiency and life aspects. Young workers are always more active than old ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they have more passion and more time to make changes and follow their dreams.
Hence
Linking Words
, young workers are more likely to achieve better results.
In addition
Linking Words
, their mind is fresh and prepared to accept new ideas and styles.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are more compatible with other young people, family members, and children.
Moreover
Linking Words
, being familiar with new technology would be useful for relationships and improvement in families and companies respectively.
For example
Linking Words
, the usage of mobile phones and computers cause better outcome in relationships and careers. In conclusion, whereas the older population has some advantages for society, young people can make better conditions in companies and families by relying on their passion and being active.
Submitted by lakshma999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: