Some people believe that arts like music and painting should be funded by the government. Others believe that these are important for a society and need government funding. what is your opinion?

There is currently a contentious argument over whether the art forms are being funded by the government. I totally agree with
this
notion because art is an essential factor of human mental health, and it represents the tradition of the nation. The main reason why I believe music and paintings should be funded by the administration is that many abled people are not doing the same and leaving their passion, as it is expensive. Many types of research proved that professional forms can reduce stress and it can relax our minds.
In addition
, it is an unavoidable thing for mindfulness.
For example
, music therapy is an important medicine for depression. If local bodies could support the artists financially, talented performers can showcase their talents and so we get extraordinary musicians. Another reason why I support
this
opinion is that arts are the representation of culture. To make it clear, we get many pieces of evidence about history through these pictures and songs.
Moreover
, these tell us a story of an era.
For instance
, the traditional song of a locale always speaks about their lifestyle, habits and many more. But nowadays, young generations are not following these local traditional craft forms
however
they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
to. Because they are not getting income from the local craft, and
also
expensive to follow the same. Rulers must give a hand to those performers to depict the culture of a nation. In conclusion, I completely agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
the fine arts are funded by the government as it is one of the medicines in modern science and it shows the philosophy of a country. Given
this
situation, it seems that many youngsters come to
this
field as a profession. So, we will get huge collections of music and paintings to represent our nation.
Submitted by skn1980 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your reasons are fully developed and provide more specific examples to support your points. Focus on addressing all parts of the prompt and maintain a clear and consistent line of argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Ensure that the connections between your ideas are made more explicit to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Mental well-being
  • Soft power
  • Economic stimulus
  • Artistic expression
  • Censorship
  • Cultural diversity
  • Private patronage
  • Public investment
  • Cultural exchange
  • Artistic initiatives
  • Financial struggle
  • Creative industries
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