IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Your friend would like to visit you, but unfortunately you are not free when they want to come. Write a letter to your friend. Apologise Explain why you are busy Suggest another time

#friend #visit #apologise #time
The bar chart compares the frequency of
fast-food
 consumption by
USA
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
 citizens
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from 2003 to 2013. It is clear that most people in the USA used to eat one or more
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
evert
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
 month in one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast-food
restaurants
., going to those
restaurants
 every day rarely occurred. In 2003, more than 30% of individuals were going out to eat
fast-food
 once a week, and in 2006 eating
this
 way reached its highest level to 33% of USA people.
However
, in 2013,
this
 figure dropped to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
27%.
On the other hand
, visiting
restaurants
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 present
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
 once or twice a month was at 33% in 2013 which is 3% higher than in 2003. Purchasing fast food in
restaurants
 several times a week was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher in 2006 by 20% than in 2003 and 2013 by 17 and 16% respectively.
Additionally
, less than 5% went to
fast-food
 facilities every day during the period from 2003 to 2013. Over the ten-year period, eating at those places a few times was below or equal to 15%. There was a
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of people who never ate
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there and they were below 5%.
Submitted by drahmedibrahim91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: