Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions

In today's modern society and past face world, more
people
have less
time
to enjoy
life
with their families which leads to loneliness and increasing comorbidities. In other's opinion in the past older
people
spends adequate
time
with their family and acquaintance which made them happier and in good shape. There are various reasons for
this
comparison in the past and the current situation which I would be discussing. In today's ,society wherein everyone is competitive and seeks higher wages with long hours of job to be able to survive with the increasing inflation.
People
forget to spend
time
with their family and friends , they focused more on their job. Working 14 to 16 hours a day will make us exhausted and after long working ,hours all we want is to lie down and sleep.
Moreover
, due to exhausting and long ,day we resort to having pre-cooked meals which are high in fats and carbohydrates. After waking up, our mind is focused again on work, exercise will not be a priority.We forget that working should give us the freedom to enjoy
life
but rather, it is taking us away from our families. Work will snatch our youth, if working will be our focus the years will pass by easily and when we realized were old and missed the opportunity to enjoy
life
.
This
is what the
life
of the current older population
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
On the other hand
, 20 to 50 years ago older
people
were more strong and healthy. Though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they are focused on giving a proper meal and educating their children, after long and tiring work, they prioritize spending quality
time
with their family which they believe is equally important as giving them proper food in their mouth. To conclude, it is equally important to spend
time
with family and friends while ensuring that there will be a proper meal and enough money for the education of the children. We should focus
also
on our health.
Submitted by mabutianalyn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: