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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion

#people #children #home #child #development #school #methods
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Since the evolution of mankind knowledge has been mostly acquired by learning. In today's digital world, information is available readily at the click of a button. The method of
education
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 has
also
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 changed, some populaces want to teach their kids privately at home
while
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 others follow the traditional method of sending their children to educational institutes. I opine on the latter view; in
this
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 essay, we will discuss the advantages of both methods.
Firstly
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, the new method of educating children at home has gained popularity in a few
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 countries. The benefits of homeschooling save a large amount of time which can be utilised for important work.
In addition
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 to
this
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, money is one of the major factors, which is immensely saved, the same can be invested for a child’s better life and important events of life like marriage.
Moreover
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, the number of students in academic classes, for popular subjects like Mathematics or science the number of knowledge seekers always exceeds the prescribed limit.
According to
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 World
Education
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 statistics, Bangladesh will have at least 25% of kids to be tutored at home before 2050.
Secondly
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, Major masses prefer to send their wards to schools to get an
education
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. Kids learn how to develop their social character, they learn very important concepts of sharing, loving, caring, and friendship. The information about certain topics is given by the experts in the relevant fields,
students
Correct word choice
and students
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 get hands-on experience to perform experiments and do case studies with different popular persons. School’s purpose is to educate children and teach them values, so they prove to be valuable people and are ready to face the challenges of the new world.
For example
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, Sundar Pichai has taken the highest level of
education
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 from the premier institutes and is successfully leading the tech giant Google. I reckon the view of sending the young ones to school to get trained properly and
built
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build
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 their careers in the field of their choice, gaining knowledge and experience from an expert will save time. Educational hubs are the best place to get the same.
Submitted by neerajambilwade on

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task response
Ensure that you respond directly to the essay prompt by addressing both sides of the argument and providing your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally sound, but ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your arguments and provide a clear viewpoint.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but be mindful of using overly complex or unclear terms. Consider using more precise and varied language to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
While your grammatical range is generally effective, there are instances of awkward phrasing and minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of more varied sentence structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tailored learning
  • peer pressure
  • flexibility
  • instill values
  • socialization
  • communication skills
  • specialized facilities
  • extracurricular activities
  • diversity
  • structured environment
  • customized education
  • well-rounded education
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