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Band 6

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace human in workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have positive or negative impact on society?

#robots #intelligence #workplace #impact #society
Robots
 and artificial
intelligence
 are currently being enhanced to alternate humans in many fields of work. It may reduce human errors in calculating, upgrading the efficiency
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the industry.
However
, in some cases, it leads to unemployment in society.
Robots
 and artificial
intelligence
 are invented to alleviate the number of errors of humans in working out the data and some problems in algorithms.
Hence
, it can
also
 solve the problem for the owner of the company, to employ few employees but
also
 get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity and efficiency in the workplace.
For example
, many countries now apply
robots
 and automation to diminish the number of employees working on some unnecessary
partssuch
Correct your spelling
parts
in Vietnam, some supermarkets started using automatic machines and the drivers just need to take the ticket by utilizing the machines and they do not have to recruit a lot of workers to do
this
 working.
Although
 it can boost productivity and efficiency in the economy and finance in many countries, the problem is that the number of people who do not have jobs will do something to earn money. If
robots
 and artificial
intelligence
 are being used in many sectors it may diminish the employment
rate
 and it may become an important social problem that civilization can face . The higher unemployment
rate
 can lead to a higher
rate
 of robbers and stealers.
Hence
 it can
also
 have a big influence on safety of the society. In conclusion,
robots
 and artificial
intelligence
 are being developed to replace humans in the workplace is a good way to improve the economy and finances in many countries, but
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
show examples
 it suitably and not depending too much on it may be a good way to reduce unemployment
rate
 in the future.

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Structure
Make sure to clearly separate your essay into paragraphs, each with a single main idea. This helps in enhancing the clarity of your argument.
Grammar and Spelling
Avoid spelling and grammatical mistakes to improve the overall readability of your essay. Review your writing for any typing errors or missing words.
Vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly. Avoid repeating the same words or phrases whenever possible.
Content
Include more specific examples or data to support your points. Such evidence makes your arguments more convincing.
Content
You have effectively addressed both parts of the question, discussing why robots are being developed and their potential impact on society.
Content
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, presenting a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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