IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Advanced technology has brought many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones and the Internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies? How can the elderly be encouraged to use consumer electronics more often?

#technology #changes #world #people #struggle #technologies #phones #internet #benefit #consumer #electronics
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Despite many beneficial advancements made available to the world by new technological inventions, the elderly population find it difficult to
use
 mobile phones and the Internet.
This
 essay will discuss how
this
 segment of society can be benefitted from these useful
technologies
 and
also
 will suggest how to encourage them to
use
 new household electronic equipment.
Although
 there are many ways the elderly could benefit from advanced
technologies
, two key
technologies
 stand out. The
first
 key benefit is the connectivity provided by mobile phones.
This
 will be of great
use
 when an elderly person has mobility issues and finds an emergency. In
such
 instances, assistance can be sought and received with relative ease when a mobile phone is in possession. The
next
 important benefit of a smartphone connected to the Internet is that they could make calls to their friends and relatives to dispel their loneliness. The motivation to adopt to new
technologies
 is mainly dependent on affordability and lack of knowledge. These
Technologies
Fix capitalization
technologies
show examples
 are not available to them mainly due to their lack of disposable income. They live with limited means and don’t want to make investments in newly invented
technologies
. They are happy with their way of life unless
such
 devices are given to them free of charge or at a concessional rate.
Therefore
, governments and community organisations should take initiatives in
this
 regard by granting easy access and training to
use
 them while holding awareness programmes to alleviate the root problems in adaptation. In conclusion, there are a number of benefits that can be availed to elderly people through new technological advancements and their reluctance to new equipment can be diminished by providing easy access.
Submitted by lankadeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: