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Band 6.5

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people belive that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #belive #country #governments #level
In a myriad of countries, a few
people
 earn relatively high wages. Some
people
 argue that
this
 trend is better for the country,
while
 others assume officials should promote to not increase from a certain amount.
According to
 me, those two opposites should be taken into account by governments On the one hand, some
people
 agree to pay higher
salaries
 to
people
 that are good for the countries.
In other words
, if
people
 earn a great deal of money, they are able to meet their needs
such
 as household bills, tuition fees and others.
As a result
, those have a chance to boost the budget of the country since
people
 who work in well-paid professions may pay higher taxes rather than ordinary employees.
For instance
, humans who have well-paid professions can afford every item and every need that they desire in the USA,
therefore
 the economy is evolving day by day
On the other hand
, other categories of
people
 think that
this
 trend negatively influences the community.
According to
 those, If
salaries
 are raised it gives rise to many issues
such
 as an economic decrease and stratification.
Firstly
, if employees are provided with high
salaries
, it can cause to fall in the annual income of the country's budget.
As a consequence
, ordinary workers may be disappointed and sacked by shrinking
salaries
.
Furthermore
, humans with much money may disrespect mankind who have not well-paid jobs.
As a result
, stratification may be popular in society.
For example
, in developed countries, companies make every decision based on situations
such
 as classification . In conclusion, even though humans can have a lot of opportunities to afford their needs,
this
 trend can have a negative effect
thus
 I argue that the ideas of both sides are equally important.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Ensure each main point is elaborated in more detail to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your arguments. Each paragraph should connect more seamlessly to the next, creating a cohesive narrative.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have presented both views in the discussion, fulfilling the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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