In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their product. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development of children ?

Nowadays, advertisement is interwoven with human life. There are people who claim that manufacturers and distributors of junk
food
, pay money to educational institutions for the promotion of
food
items on their premises. I strongly believe that
this
trend has a negative impact on
students
. I will discuss the reasons in the essay. There are various reasons that children should avoid junk
food
.
To begin
with, These
foods
are easily available, tasty and cheap in price.
However
, they are low in nutrition and proteins. They contain
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
high amounts of salt, sugar and oil , which are the prominent factors for deteriorating health.
Secondly
, these
foods
are tempting and
hence
one can develop a habit of eating these
foods
on a routine basis, which could hamper the pockets of parents. Due to the easy availability of junk
foods
, the importance of home cook
food
is depleting.
For example
, In India, the majority of people are living in nuclear families and all the elder members are earning
hence
they can not cook for the child in
this
situation student has to depend on the
food
available in the canteen of the school.
Furthermore
, educational organizations should understand the importance of
students
' health. For the sake of money, authorities should not hamper the health of
students
. Guidelines should be announced by the authorities and strict monitoring is required for the promotion of
food
on school premises as, manufacturers should use whole wheat bread
instead
of refined wheat bread. They can introduce a variety of salads which attract the
students
.
Moreover
, they can use fresh juice rather than carbohydrate drinks. Overall, I believe that schools should not give permission to every restaurant or supermarket to promote their
food
products in the canteen. If they want to sell their
food
, they have to clear the prerequisite requirements of the authorities.
Submitted by himalibhavsar7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • childhood obesity
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate marketing strategies
  • extracurricular programs
  • nutritional information
  • paradox
  • brand loyalty
  • sugar, fat, and sodium
  • health problems
  • educational messages
What to do next:
Look at other essays: