Some people believe that studying for a university degree is better for an individual’s career than gaining work experience immediately after high school. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some believe that pursuing a university degree is more beneficial for an individual´s
career
than gaining work experience directly after finishing high
school
. In my opinion, I disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
statement because I believe that students need to gain practical experience after
school
to grow personally and
Add a hyphen
career-wise
show examples
career wise
Add a hyphen
career-wise
show examples
. One reason
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
school
graduates
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to gain practical experience after years of studying theoretically. Nowadays the global education system is very theoretical without any
Add a hyphen
hands-on
show examples
hands on
Add a hyphen
hands-on
show examples
Correct your spelling
learning
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
involved.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
students are conditioned to read multiple books a month and become familiar with different
mathematically
Change the adverb
mathematical
show examples
formulas.
This
might be good for their level of education but will not help them to encounter practical wisdom. A recent study showed that
school
levers who pursued a job after
school
had higher
career
opportunities than their
colleges
Replace the word
colleagues
show examples
who went to university straight after graduating.
This
is because labour teaches adolescents multiple life lessons. Working in a business or a company will instruct former pupils how to collaborate and cooperate with each other.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
men and women will gain knowledge about investing and saving. These factors are highly essential and important in our today’s life.
Thus
academic places like schools do not provide lessons about various efficient spending and saving ways and how to invest wisely.
Additionally
working practically may help humans to learn from errors which leads to personal development and
therefore
higher
career
chances.
Submitted by luisapressl01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: