Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your experience.

Opinions are divided on whether
money
is only a fortune in a human's life which can not buy
happiness
or whether it is a key factor to achieve
happiness
. While I understand the reason behind the former view, I am still in favour of the latter. Those who believed that
money
can not help people feel joy may have several arguments. From their perspective,
money
can not buy people's health conditions which I do admit that it is true, to some extent. There are many diseases have been found for a really long time;
however
, there are not any available medical treatments for those, though billions of
money
invested in research. Another possible argument is that not everything can be bought with
money
.
This
can be exemplified by the fact that many millionaires feel lonely and depressed even though they are at peak of their careers.
Nevertheless
, I still hold the belief that achieving
happiness
requires possessing the right amount of
money
for many reasons. Chief among these is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
money
can fulfil basic needs and concerns. It is not a happy life until all the bills are paid and you do not have to worry about monetary problems for your
next
meal. The
second
reason is that your social class will be perceived differently when you have more
money
and properties which leads to more
happiness
and self-pride. When the basic needs are satisfied we would strive for other dreams like love or self-actualisation. The opportunity to attain those goals is higher if you have better financial conditions. In conclusion, I acknowledge why some may argue that not everything can be bought with
money
, especially
happiness
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
I would take the view that
money
plays an important role in seeking
happiness
.
Submitted by hunglelehung0607 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!