IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of fitness are decreasing. What do you think are causes of these problem and solutions?

#countries #weight #people #level #fitness
This
 essay will discuss today's enormous problem which is facing not only some countries but
also
 the whole wide world, which is their rapidly increasing
weight
 and decreasing fitness level
that is
 creating a major health issue in front of
this
 generation.
Firstly
, if we talk about today's educated generation and the developing world
people
 are extremely busy in their life. And technology is playing a vital role in the race, especially since the covid pandemic has started a large number of folk are working from home using laptops.
Although
this
 is a positive point of technology that nations are running with technology,
on the other hand
, using
this
 advantage they are facing many issues related to their health, which they are still unaware of because working from home they are not able to do any physical movement,
Furthermore
, they do not have even time to cook
food
 because of their busy working days and reason they are moving towards the outside junk
food
, which causes they are gaining
weight
 day by day, that could put them in danger.
On the other hand
, if we move towards the solution to
this
 major issue, I would suggest
people
 after getting free from their working hours should certainly join some physical activity
such
 as gym classes or else, and avoid having fast
food
 which they are obsessed with, that will certainly help them to reduce
weight
 and to be fit. In conclusion, as I represent with my argument of effect and solution there are ways to both improvements
such
 as the effect of
people
's
weight
 was increasing impact on the way that they're eating
food
.
Although
, which is methods to reduce
this
 situation is
people
 should back to care health and exercise.
Submitted by f.abhishek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: