Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people assert that companies should hire individuals who are creative and autonomous in
the
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their
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abode,
whereas
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others contend that they should employ people with
teamwork
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skills
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and collaborative behaviours.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives on
this
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matter. First and foremost, one compelling argument supporting the former is that they are more likely to produce new technology and services than other counterparts since, unlike people valuing harmony in the
workplace
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, they tend to prioritize personal growth and
further
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advancements over
teamwork
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activities.
As a result
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, they are able to primarily concentrate on enhancing their
skills
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to fulfil their responsibilities. Specifically, in AI and programming industries, which are highly competitive markets in today's society, they are required to have cutting-edge competencies to enhance current technology.
Therefore
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, by granting freedom to a few high-skilled employees in the
workplace
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, companies can boost their revenue. Despite the advantages of the former notion, one key factor in favour of the latter is that, in general,
teamwork
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and supportive
skills
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are essential since the majority of tasks in the
workplace
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need fewer high-end
skills
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to complete them, but rather,
such
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behaviours help boost productivity.
For example
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, in Japan, when beginning new jobs, regardless of a certain job, new employees are taught how to reply to emails
to
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from
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other businesses as they consider immediate and proper responses to strengthen the connection with partners, leading to a smooth operation in the
workplace
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.
Therefore
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,
teamwork
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abilities and collaborative behaviours are considered essential
skills
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for workers in various businesses. In conclusion,
while
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in certain industries, companies should value the qualities of innovative abilities and autonomy, in the majority of businesses, it is pivotal for employers to ponder the importance of supportive
skills
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when it comes to hiring. In my opinion, considering what qualities new employees need to boost their revenue and foster group activities is essential.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your stance more explicitly. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your argument. This will enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Try to link your ideas more explicitly. For example, when you transition between arguments, use phrases that show the relationship between them (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'On the other hand,' etc.).
task achievement
While you have provided examples, consider elaborating on them or introducing additional specific examples to strengthen your argument.
content
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of hiring practices.
content
You effectively identify the skills needed for different industries, which shows your awareness of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
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