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Writing Samples
Band 6

To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not only unhealthy but affect nature too. Do you agree or disagree about this?

#food #population #country #foods #people #gm #nature
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In society’s environment, many modern technologies more increased. It is argued that the population is more crowded and to meet the growing needs of food, many
countries
 should
use
 genetically engineered
foods
. Some
people
 show that genetically engineered
foods
 are both unhealthy and affect nature. It is a difficult question to answer because it always has both positive and negative sides. But I completely disagree with some
people
 who show that genetically engineered
foods
 are both unhealthy and affect nature. In
this
 essay, I will analyze is that the
effect
 of genetically engineered
foods
 on standing for
life
. First of all, the
effect
 of genetically engineered
foods
 to stand for
life
 that genetically engineered could be the solution to famine in developing
countries
 and eliminate poverty. The developing
countries
' conditions and materials about nature and equipment are not good when they want to plant trees
productivity
 and quality decrease. Genetically engineered
foods
 will help their good
life
such
 as
productivity
 promote income and eliminate poverty in developing
countries
.
For example
, in Angola,
people
 in Vietnam used genetically engineered
foods
 to
this
countries
. They help
everyone
 stand for
life
 more development. They create and develop plants
such
 as rice, corn, beans, etc… which make genetically engineered
foods
. Because these
countries
 live in difficult and the environment does not have full conditions to meet demands for plants, they help bring genetically engineered to promote their
life
.
Secondly
, the
effect
 of genetically engineered
foods
 on
health
 is that genetic engineering can modify crops and products to provide better nutrition for consumers. Consumers want to
increase
 the
productivity
 of crops when they should
increase
productivity
 by planting trees and decreasing fertilizers and pesticides. Fertilizers and pesticides are a factor risk to the
health
 of
everyone
, they can
increase
productivity
 just after one day. So, many
people
 do not know and understand
this
 problem, and they will buy and eat it enter their body leading to much sickness
such
 as cancer.
For example
, farmers want to
increase
productivity
 and profit for themselves when they
use
 fertilizers and pesticides in their product development and sell to consumers. So, genetically engineered
foods
 should
use
 plants and produce to protect the
health
 of
everyone
. As you can see in the essay I just analyzed above, the
effect
 of genetically engineered
foods
 meets demands for
everyone
 with product safety and protects
health
 when overpopulation has good sides. I strongly believe that genetically engineered
foods
 do better than harm.
Therefore
,
everyone
 should
use
 suitable genetically engineered
foods
 to consumer demand of users.
Submitted by ylktnds160462 on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the question and provide a clear opinion in the introduction. The introduction should set the stage for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a coherent argument with topic sentences that clearly state the main idea for each paragraph, followed by supporting details.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will help in demonstrating a complete understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph is well-organized and flows logically from one to the next. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas together.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of your argument, restate your position, and leave the reader with a final thought or recommendation.
coherence cohesion
Improve the grammatical range and precision in your writing. Avoid repetitive sentence structures and check for verb tense consistency.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for run-on sentences and work on sentence division for better clarity and understanding. Simple, clear sentences are often more effective than complex ones that are prone to error.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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