IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not only unhealthy but affect nature too. Do you agree or disagree about this?

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In society’s environment, many modern technologies more increased. It is argued that the population is more crowded and to meet the growing needs of food, many
countries
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 should
use
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 genetically engineered
foods
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. Some
people
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 show that genetically engineered
foods
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 are both unhealthy and affect nature. It is a difficult question to answer because it always has both positive and negative sides. But I completely disagree with some
people
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 who show that genetically engineered
foods
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 are both unhealthy and affect nature. In
this
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 essay, I will analyze is that the
effect
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 of genetically engineered
foods
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 on standing for
life
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. First of all, the
effect
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 of genetically engineered
foods
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 to stand for
life
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 that genetically engineered could be the solution to famine in developing
countries
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 and eliminate poverty. The developing
countries
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' conditions and materials about nature and equipment are not good when they want to plant trees
productivity
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 and quality decrease. Genetically engineered
foods
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 will help their good
life
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such
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 as
productivity
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 promote income and eliminate poverty in developing
countries
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.
For example
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, in Angola,
people
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 in Vietnam used genetically engineered
foods
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 to
this
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countries
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. They help
everyone
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 stand for
life
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 more development. They create and develop plants
such
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 as rice, corn, beans, etc… which make genetically engineered
foods
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. Because these
countries
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 live in difficult and the environment does not have full conditions to meet demands for plants, they help bring genetically engineered to promote their
life
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.
Secondly
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, the
effect
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 of genetically engineered
foods
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 on
health
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 is that genetic engineering can modify crops and products to provide better nutrition for consumers. Consumers want to
increase
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 the
productivity
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 of crops when they should
increase
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productivity
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 by planting trees and decreasing fertilizers and pesticides. Fertilizers and pesticides are a factor risk to the
health
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 of
everyone
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, they can
increase
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productivity
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 just after one day. So, many
people
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 do not know and understand
this
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 problem, and they will buy and eat it enter their body leading to much sickness
such
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 as cancer.
For example
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, farmers want to
increase
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productivity
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 and profit for themselves when they
use
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 fertilizers and pesticides in their product development and sell to consumers. So, genetically engineered
foods
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 should
use
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 plants and produce to protect the
health
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 of
everyone
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. As you can see in the essay I just analyzed above, the
effect
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 of genetically engineered
foods
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 meets demands for
everyone
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 with product safety and protects
health
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 when overpopulation has good sides. I strongly believe that genetically engineered
foods
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 do better than harm.
Therefore
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,
everyone
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 should
use
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 suitable genetically engineered
foods
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 to consumer demand of users.

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the question and provide a clear opinion in the introduction. The introduction should set the stage for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a coherent argument with topic sentences that clearly state the main idea for each paragraph, followed by supporting details.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will help in demonstrating a complete understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph is well-organized and flows logically from one to the next. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas together.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of your argument, restate your position, and leave the reader with a final thought or recommendation.
coherence cohesion
Improve the grammatical range and precision in your writing. Avoid repetitive sentence structures and check for verb tense consistency.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for run-on sentences and work on sentence division for better clarity and understanding. Simple, clear sentences are often more effective than complex ones that are prone to error.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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