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Writing Samples
Band 6

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Alternative
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medicine
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 is not new. It is accepted that it pre-dates conventional
medicine
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 and is still being used by many
people
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 all over the world. Some
people
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 believe that these medical practices are not safe and can cause severe damage. I am unconvinced that it is dangerous and feel that both unconventional and conventional
medicine
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 can be useful. First of all, many physical therapies work by increasing
people
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’s ability to tolerate stress.
For example
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, scientific evidence suggests that yoga
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 by acting on stress reactivity.
In addition
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, far from being dangerous they often have no side effects, so the worst outcome would be no change. One of the strongest arguments for the effectiveness of these practices in the
west
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West
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 is that, whilst conventional medicines are available at no cost, many
people
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 are prepared to pay considerable sums for alternatives. If they were totally unhelpful, it would be surprising if
this
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 continued.
On the other hand
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, there are several reasons why the conventional medical community is often dismissive of alternatives.
To begin
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 with, compared to the huge amount of data on standard medications, there has been little research on alternatives.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 often try
such
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 treatment because of the recommendations from their friends, and
therefore
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 come to the therapist with a positive attitude, which may be part of the reason for the cure.
Moreover
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, these
methods
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 are usually only helpful for long-term, chronic conditions. Acute medical problems,
such
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 as accidental injury, often
required
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require
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 conventional
methods
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. In conclusion,
although
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 it is a common thought that
alternative
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methods
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 are harmful and unsafe. I strongly believe that conventional
medicine
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 and
alternative
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 therapies should co-exist. They have different strengths and can be used together effectively to target a particular medical condition. Personally, I think the best situation would be for
alternative
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 therapies to be used to support and complement conventional
methods
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider including a more defined structure in the body paragraphs, ensuring each argument is clearly delineated. Although your ideas are relevant, stronger transitions between arguments could enhance clarity.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons supporting your points about the effectiveness of alternative medicine with additional examples or research, which would help provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by reiterating the main arguments you presented in the essay, which can help to underscore your position on the coexistence of alternative and conventional medicine.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and presents a clear position on the issue, which is commendable.
task achievement
The examples provided, particularly related to yoga and its benefits on stress, demonstrate good use of specific information to support your ideas; this adds to the strength of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicine
  • holistic approaches
  • integrative health
  • conventional medicine
  • effectiveness
  • evidence-based
  • treatment methodologies
  • placebo effect
  • patient empowerment
  • complementary therapy
  • risk assessment
  • medical supervision
  • healthcare choices
  • quantifiable results
  • therapeutic
  • wellness practices
  • integrative therapies
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